Do You Think Of Me?
by D. O. Parker
Summary: *COMPLETE!* Probably THE SADDEST H/Hr fic you'll ever read. My goal here is to make readers cry. Prequel to "As If We Never Said Goodbye." And if you like this one, I think you're going to like reading the sequel. R/R!
1. The Realization

TITLE: DO YOU THINK OF ME? AUTHOR: D.O. Parker RATING: mostly PG-13, but R for a chapter or two SPOILER: Probably the saddest Harry/Hermione fanfic ever created (whoa, hot air coming through!). But, really.this is my first attempt at a fanfic. Even if you're not a big fan of the H/Hr pairing, I think it's worth a read. Please feel free to R/R. SUMMARY: Prequel to a currently untitled story. Harry, Ron & Hermione are in their 7th and last year at Hogwarts. Voldemort has been defeated. What happens when Harry's sights are set on someone else and Hermione chooses to keep quiet about her feelings for him? SHIPS: implied H/Hr  
  
CHAPTER 1: THE REALIZATION  
  
Disclaimer: All HP characters appearing in this fanfic are created and owned by J.K. Rowling.  
  
She didn't know how and when it began. All she knew was she was already in the middle before she even realized that it had begun. Hermione Granger will never forget that day, the first day of the Christmas holidays.  
  
Harry was just being, well, Harry. In all honesty, this was the first time that Hermione ever saw him happy on Christmas. It was probably because he had already defeated Voldemort during the earlier part of their 7th year that was the cause of his joy. After all, it's quite difficult to stay in a Christmas-y mood when you kept looking over your shoulder, wondering where Voldemort would strike next.  
  
So there they were, just her and Harry. Ron was there, too, walking towards them and pulling at the tie on his neck. Mr. & Mrs. Weasley were on a well-deserved vacation, courtesy of her 5 elder children, who sent them on a cruise to the Caribbean. Fred and George decided to stay at Hogwarts for the holidays to spend Christmas with Ron and Ginny. Harry and Hermione looked over at Ron, clad in his formal holiday robes and still pulling at the tie Fred had insisted that he wear that evening. The twins, having made a fortune with their shop, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes in Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley (and one more in Ireland, on the way), were taking their siblings for a holiday dinner at one of Hogsmeade's more expensive restaurants. Ron plopped down unceremoniously on the seat next to Harry.  
  
"I think I'm choking," Ron groaned, trying to undo the knot.  
  
"You look very nice, Ron," Hermione told him, giving him a little nod of compliment. "Just stop fussing with the tie. There's nothing wrong with it."  
  
"The only reason Fred wanted me to wear this tie is to advertise their shop!"  
  
Harry scratched his head in confusion. "Uh, how exactly can your tie advertise?"  
  
Ron let out a great sigh. "Fred and George charmed it so that the tie glows in the dark. Watch." He pointed his wand at the tie and muttered, "Incandescenza." Sure enough, swirling letters in a bright green color began to spell out, For wands that croak and all sorts of other jokes.Only at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes - Hogsmeade & Diagon Alley (and another in Ireland, on the way)!  
  
Harry let out a snicker while Hermione bit back a giggle that threatened to escape her mouth. "Just try to enjoy the evening, Ron," she said, turning around in time to see Harry swipe a piece of the pumpkin pie they had nicked earlier from Dobby as a pre-dinner dessert. "Potter! You put that back right now," Hermione cried, Harry's fork halfway to his mouth.  
  
"You're not eating it anymore," Harry replied pointedly, grinning before putting the piece into his mouth.  
  
"RON! Come on! We're leaving!" the three of them heard George yell across the Great Hall.  
  
"I'm not going out wearing this tie," Ron muttered darkly, shooting daggers at his brothers.  
  
"Oy, Ron!" Fred called out. "Get a move on! We have reservations!"  
  
"No way!" Ron yelled back.  
  
Hermione rested her head on one hand. "Don't be stupid, Ron. I'm sure they just put it there to freak you out."  
  
"What if they didn't? I'm not walking around Hogsmeade like a bloody street sign."  
  
"Ron, I'm quite sure that it's just a trick. I mean, Fred and George wouldn't seriously let you walk around with a flashing neon tie. They still have some sense of dignity left."  
  
Harry chose this moment to cough out the word, "Somewhere." Hermione hoped Ron didn't hear it.  
  
"Ron, stop being a pain-in-the-butt! Let's go already!" Fred yelled again. By this time, everyone that had been in the Great Hall with them had began to look over their shoulders and glare at him.  
  
"Jeez, Weasley, will you just get up and leave already? Everyone's beginning to stare," Harry hissed at his best friend. Ron stood up reluctantly.  
  
"Fine. But if they did charm this tie, I'm going to hex the two of you while you're both sleeping tonight." He muttered a farewell then headed for his siblings, walking all along, like a man on death row.  
  
The two of them laughed once they had made sure that Ron was out of earshot. "Honestly," Hermione said, wiping a tear that had rolled down her cheek. "Ron could be so paranoid sometimes."  
  
"You said it," Harry nodded in agreement.  
  
"Wait, don't move."  
  
"What?" Harry asked, freezing. Hermione pulled out a tissue from inside her robes and motioned for Harry to move closer to her.  
  
"You've got a bit of pie stuck right at the corner of your mouth," she giggled, wiping the offending bit away.  
  
"Thanks. Want another slice of pie?"  
  
"Ugh. I can barely finish the one I have," she said, pushing her plate away from her.  
  
"Can I have the rest of your pie then?" Harry asked, eyeing the half- eaten pastry on Hermione's plate like a birthday present.  
  
"You don't have to finish the whole pie tin in one sitting, Potter," Hermione scolded lightly. "Why don't you keep the rest and bring it up to your dormitory to share with the other boys?"  
  
Harry dutifully attacked Hermione's pie. "Well, you don't know what it's like eating almost next-to-nothing at the Dursleys. The only time I can eat as much as I want is when I'm here in Hogwarts, so I'm making the most out of it. Besides, when will I ever get a free pumpkin pie at Christmas again? This is our last year here."  
  
Hermione raised a brow. "Forgive me if I'm not more sympathetic, but you don't look like you're being underfed at all."  
  
And she was right. Harry wasn't anything like he used to be. He was no longer a skinny and scrawny boy. In the last seven years, Harry had grown taller (6 feet, last measure) and was leaner and more lithe. He still had the same messy black hair, though and the scar that would forever serve as a memory of Voldemort. All those years of his playing Quidditch did him good for he developed toned muscles in his stomach, chest, arms and legs. Hermione always teased him about not being just Famous Harry Potter anymore, but being Famous Harry Potter the heartthrob and Witch Weekly's Sexiest Man Alive, a fact that Ron never forgot to tease him for as well. And his eyes.  
  
Hermione looked closer at the pair of emerald green eyes that has seen so many tragedies and sorrows and was startled. Maybe she hadn't noticed it before but did his eyes have a deeper color to them now than they did before? She wasn't sure, so she leaned in closer to get a better look. Yes, they were definitely a deeper color. But why didn't she notice it before? She's always prided herself in being very keen and observant.  
  
"As much as you find my eyes fascinating, Herm, I have to blink now because my eyes are beginning to water," Harry's voice interrupted her reverie.  
  
She jumped at the sound of his voice and felt her face flush. She'd just been caught staring at his eyes. Not 'at', into, she corrected herself, feeling her face flush even more. Fortunately, or rather unfortunately, Harry didn't seem to notice her embarrassment. He blinked a few times before glancing past Hermione. « Well, at least someone finds my eyes fascinating. » He let out a sigh before continuing. « Wish she"d find me fascinating though. » Hermione turned around to find out who it was he was staring at.  
  
It came as no surprise - Harry was looking at Diana Owens, the exchange student from the American Academy of Magic. The pretty blonde with sea green eyes had been the object of most of the Hogwarts' male population's affections since the start of term. Harry and Ron included. And although she had a nice disposition, Hermione held a certain dislike for her - and now she could feel that dislike jump a considerable notch on her hate scale. She didn't know why, but seeing Harry sigh for her like that made her want to throw the new girl into the lake. Hermione forced herself to turn away and breathed in. She had accounted her dislike of her to the fact that almost all the guys at Hogwarts liked her because she was pretty or she was smart and brilliant and funny. Hermione scowled. She (as in Hermione) was pretty and smart and brilliant and she could be funny if she tried - and she was at Hogwarts first ! Not that anybody's ever made a move on her before - not since their fifth year, right after her break-up with Viktor Krum.Hermione thought that it would be quite difficult for anyone to come up and ask her out when Viktor was clearly not yet over her. He sent threatening owls to anyone who even spoke to her during the first week of their break-up and he didn't even trust Ron. Harry he could trust, but Ron, no.  
  
Hermione banged her hands on the table, startling Harry out of his trance. « Why don"t you just go on and talk to her if it"s so important to you ? »  
  
Harry looked at her, horrified at her suggestion. « I can"t just do that ! » he breathed. « I have to do something to make her notice me, you know - something that will make me stand out from those guys, » he replied, pointing at the flock of guys milling around Diana.  
  
Hermione looked at him as if he'd just been put in a total body bind. « Are you or are you not Harry Potter ? »  
  
« If I say that, I"ll come off as totally conceited. »  
  
« Believe it or not, Harry, girls like the straightforward approach. Just go over and say hello. » Get a grip on yourself, Hermione. Just a little push in the right direction and this thing'll end. Then you can go back to your room and relax in a bubble bath.  
  
« You really think she"ll notice me if I do that ? »  
  
Hermione found a smile for him. « Yeah. »  
  
« Thanks, Herm. You"re the greatest. » Harry leapt from his seat and rushed over to Hermione's side. « I"ll go talk to her now. If we get married, you"ll be the maid of honor. »  
  
« Don"t get ahead of yourself, Harry, » she warned, smiling.  
  
« Right. » He leaned down and gave her a feather-light kiss on the cheek. When his lips touched her skin, she tingled all over and felt an entirely new sensation come over her. His breath was hot and smelled sweetly of pumpkin. For some weird reason, thoughts of pumpkin pie entered Hermione's head and she instinctively swiveled her head around, following the scent. She raised her head and her lips searched for the bearer of the sweet pumpkin. She needed to taste it. She was so close, she could feel it. So close.  
  
Harry had gone to talk to Diana, leaving Hermione kissing air.  
  
Hermione gave herself a little shake and watched Harry's retreating back. What's going on ? 


	2. Just A Friend

TITLE: DO YOU THINK OF ME? AUTHOR: D.O. Parker RATING: mostly PG-13, but R for a chapter or two SPOILER: Probably the saddest Harry/Hermione fanfic ever created (whoa, hot air coming through!). But, really.this is my first attempt at a fanfic. Even if you're not a big fan of the H/Hr pairing, I think it's worth a read. Please feel free to R/R. SUMMARY: Prequel to a currently untitled story. Harry, Ron & Hermione are in their 7th and last year at Hogwarts. Voldemort has been defeated. What happens when Harry's sights are set on someone else and Hermione chooses to keep quiet about her feelings for him? SHIPS: implied H/Hr  
  
CHAPTER 2: JUST A FRIEND.  
  
"YES!!!" Harry yelled triumphantly, jumping onto a sleeping Hermione's bed. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"  
  
"Harry Potter," she croaked sleepily, pulling her covers up to her chest and murmuring for her bedside lamp to switch open. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"  
  
"Yes, it's 2:47."  
  
"In the morning!" Hermione cried. "Please, go away and let me sleep."  
  
"No, you can't go to bed yet. I haven't properly thanked you for getting me with Diana."  
  
Sleep forgotten, Hermione sat up with a start. "Getting you with who?" she pressed.  
  
"Diana. I did everything you told me to do. I was straightforward and honest and we spent the whole evening talking in the common room."  
  
"And this morning, too, by the look of it. What did you talk about?" Hermione wanted to know.  
  
"Lots of things. Like, what the difference is between European magic and American magic, and how wizards are like where she's from and stuff like those. Plus, I've learned she's really into those indoor games like Twister and Wizard Chess and Gobstones."  
  
"And did you confess that you were into more outdoor games like Quidditch?"  
  
"Not really. She doesn't care for Quidditch very much. She says it's a violent game."  
  
"Like wizard chess isn't violent," Hermione replied sarcastically. She stifled a yawn. The one season where she allowed herself to sleep in and Harry had to go wake her up. "Harry, can you just thank me and get it over with? I'd really like to go back to sleep."  
  
"Right. Thanks for the help, Herm. I wouldn't have been able to get a date with her without you."  
  
"Date? What date?" Hermione demanded.  
  
"I invited her for a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks tomorrow, actually it's tonight." Harry laughed at himself and Hermione felt herself being drained of energy. "I'll let you sleep now. Night. And thanks again, Hermione." Then, Harry disappeared behind the portrait hole.  
  
Harry was going on a date. Harry Potter. Her Harry Potter was going out on a date - with no less than an American witch. The same American witch that made Hermione's blood boil just thinking about her.  
  
"I can't believe this!" she cried angrily into the night, slipping on her robe to wallow in her thoughts at the common room.  
  
"So much for a peaceful sleep," her mirror mumbled dreamily as Hermione stormed away.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
The Gryffindor common room was empty when Hermione stalked angrily inside. First things first, why was she so angry? Was she angry at Harry? No, her brain taunted her. You're angry at Diana Owens!  
  
But why was I so angry with her? She hasn't done anything to me.  
  
That's right. Why do you think you're angry at her?  
  
I don't know! She just acts so flirty, like, she's Queen of Hogwarts or something.  
  
Have you ever really seen her act like she was Queen of Hogwarts? And when did you ever see her flirt?  
  
Those guys around her are an obvious enough reason.  
  
Those guys like her because she's who you are minus the brown hair and sarcasm. She's a sweeter version of you. Add that to the fact that she's foreign.  
  
Just because she's new. They wouldn't really like her if she was in her natural environment. And if she's just like me then why don't they ask me out? No, wait, don't tell me - Viktor.  
  
Do you want all of them to ask you out?  
  
Don't be silly. But if they were going to look for a substitute me anyway.  
  
I think you're jealous.  
  
Of what?  
  
Because Harry's going out with Diana.  
  
Why should I be jealous of Harry and Diana?  
  
Because Harry's been yours all these years and now, someone's taking him from you. And you know that you don't want to let go.  
  
Hermione paused. Part of her wanted to trash everything that her subconscious had just said. After all, talking (or thinking) to herself might end her up at the funny farm. But didn't our subconscious hold our deepest desires and secrets?  
  
So.am I in love with Harry?  
  
Just because I'm a little angry and confused doesn't mean I'm in love with him. Harry's my best friend, for crying out loud.  
  
You're angry and confused because Harry's being taken away from you. Think about it - you only started not liking Diana when it was clear to you that Harry was taken with her.  
  
Hermione stopped to ponder on the last statement before realizing that it was true. When Diana had first arrived at Hogwarts, Hermione was so excited to get to know someone from another wizarding school that she even volunteered to show her around the castle. But Harry had approached her, asking if they could be introduced and she found herself disliking her more and more, until she completely avoided her.  
  
You know I'm right, don't you?  
  
But that doesn't prove anything about my feelings towards Harry.  
  
You can keep denying it all you want, Hermione. When you're ready to accept it, you might be too late.  
  
"Hermione?"  
  
Hermione jumped from the couch she was sitting on and turned around to face the intruder. "Diana?"  
  
"Hi. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."  
  
"No, no, you didn't scare me. What are you doing up so late?"  
  
"I was just about to go to sleep when I heard the portrait door open. I went down to see who it was. I didn't see you sitting on the couch."  
  
"And I didn't hear you come in. We both should be getting back to bed."  
  
"Actually, Hermione, I wanted to talk to you."  
  
Diana sat down beside her, folding her hands neatly across her lap. "I wanted to ask you about Harry."  
  
Hearing his name made Hermione flinch a little bit, but it thankfully went unnoticed. "What about Harry?"  
  
"I'm sure you know by now that he's asked me out."  
  
"Ye- no," Hermione lied.  
  
"He told me that he was going to wake you up and thank you for your help."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Diana smiled. "I'm kind of glad you helped him along. I've been wanting to talk to him for a long time, but I'm always too afraid that I might come off as some adoring fan or a groupie." She stared long and hard at her hands. "I wanted to know if you could help me, the way you helped him."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, he told me all about you telling him how he should just be straightforward and honest, and I appreciated what you said to him. But, Hermione, I know nothing about Quidditch and that's one of the things he loves the most. And aside from the fact that he's worshipped the world over because he defeated You-Know-Who, I know absolutely nothing about him."  
  
"So what do you want me to do?"  
  
"I want you to tell me everything there is to know about him. Everything essential to his being who he is." She noticed Hermione's look of apprehension and her confidence began to waver. "It's too much to ask, I know. But I like Harry a lot, and I want it to seem like we have common interests. But if you don't want to do it."  
  
Hermione sat quietly, wanting to disbelieve everything she's just heard. Has Diana Owens just asked her, Hermione Granger, for help? And not just any help. She's asking her to help her with Harry. Would she?  
  
"Okay," Hermione said, but her thoughts were nagging at her.  
  
What are you doing? You're helping her to actually GET Harry. Are you insane?  
  
There's a method to this madness. If I help her, then I'll be sure that I really don't have any other feelings for Harry, other than friendship. Then maybe, I can learn to accept this whole Harry-Diana setup.  
  
If you think so.  
  
Hermione settled in. "So, what exactly do you want to know about the Famous Harry Potter?"  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
"You look tired," Ron commented that morning, drowning his plate of pancakes with maple syrup. He set down the syrup bottle with a thud and Hermione raised her head from the table.  
  
"Not so loud, Ron," she muttered, rubbing her eyes open. She hadn't gotten a wink of sleep that evening and this morning. Diana had been insatiable, wanting to know every bit of information about Harry and Hermione had supplied her with it. Does he like ice cream? What flavor? Who is his favorite Quidditch team? What subject is he good at? Is he really a great Seeker, like the newspaper says he is? Or do they just say that because he's famous and all? I've never seen him play, you know.  
  
"Weren't you able to go back to sleep after I woke you up?" Harry asked, concerned.  
  
"No," Hermione yawned, reaching for Ron's glass of orange juice.  
  
"Hey, that's mine!" Hermione gave him a glare and sipped from the glass before returning it.  
  
"I went to the Common Room but I found Diana there instead of sleep. She had me talking all night."  
  
"Talked about what?" Harry pressed, perking up upon hearing her name. Ron, it seems, perked up as well because he said, "You talked to Diana Owens?"  
  
Hermione found herself feeling annoyed again with Diana. "What do you think we talked about, Harry? You, of course," she snapped. Unfortunately, the snap was lost on the two of them. Ron had stared at Harry as if he was Voldemort-incarnate and Harry had a wide, goofy grin on his face.  
  
"What did you tell her?" Harry pressed even further.  
  
"You're going out with Diana Owens, aren't you? You lucky son of a gun," Ron breathed.  
  
Hermione felt her control snap. "You make her sound so special. She's not, you know. She's just a normal witch who just happens to be from the other side of the world and keeps people awake, asking questions about other people."  
  
Ron frowned. "Man, Hermione, you really need to get some sleep. You need it. I mean, you're crankier than.well, than you usually are."  
  
"No thanks to you two," she declared, standing up and walking away from the two of them, storming out of the Great Hall, leaving Harry and Ron gaping at her retreating back.  
  
It was Ron who spoke first. "Do you think it's that time of the month again?"  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
Hermione woke up feeling deliciously refreshed and relaxed. She stretched out her body under her pristine white sheets and sighed. She hadn't slept that peacefully in about seven years.  
  
She sat up on her bed while her feet felt around for her slippers. Her stomach gave a tiny growl and that's when she noticed what time it was - it was a quarter past midnight! She hadn't eaten or drunk anything since that morning, not counting the sip of Ron's juice and she could feel another complaint from her stomach welling up inside her. Thinking of Ron's orange juice made her think of the way she had acted around her best friends that morning. They were right - she was crankier than usual, owing to her lack of sleep. But didn't she choose to lack her sleep time to help Diana?  
  
Hermione shook her head as she stood up to grab her robe. She'll sneak into the kitchen and ask Dobby to give her some food to tide her over till the morning. She knew that the house-elf wouldn't mind. Ron and Harry often nicked food from him in the wee hours of the morning. And while she was at it, she'd sneak into the boys' dormitory as well. Neville, Seamus and Dean wouldn't be there as they'd left Hogwarts for the holidays. She'd apologize to Harry and Ron for her behavior that morning and maybe share her late- night dinner with them. Maybe.  
  
The thought made her smile as she crept outside her portrait hole and made her way to the kitchen.  
  
After several moments, Hermione was ascending the stairs to the Gryffindor Common Room, her arms laden with roast turkey, potatoes, peas and baked pheasant. Dobby was very pleased to see her that he had offered more than she could carry. She had politely declined his offer of baking her a cake for dessert but insisted that Winky clear the plates from her room in the morning. She could almost hear Ron's amazed gasp of happiness when he sees her. I've died and gone to heaven!  
  
She could almost hear Harry, too, she realized as she neared the Common Room. In fact, she could hear him whispering something, but what it was she wasn't sure.  
  
I'm hearing things, Hermione thought, leaving the last step. Her eyes adjusted to the dim light in the Common Room.  
  
There it is again, she thought, the hairs on the back of her neck prickling. I swear I can hear Harry.  
  
It was faint and Hermione strained to listen.  
  
Ana.  
  
What? Hermione gave herself a little shake and strained even close to hear.  
  
Diana.  
  
May I kiss you?  
  
This time, Hermione heard perfectly and her eyes glanced up to the balcony that led to the girls' dormitory. Harry and Diana were standing there, facing each other and he was leaning toward her.  
  
Hermione's heart began to pound hard inside her chest, she was afraid that she was going to burst. Every second that took for Harry to lean in, she matched with a small thought, No. Please no. Don't let him kiss her. Don't let him kiss her.  
  
Don't let him kiss her.  
  
Harry's mouth reached Diana's and Hermione felt her heart stop. Her eyes filled up with unexpected tears and she tried to breathe. Her thoughts were a jumble inside her head as the image of them kissing burned itself in her mind. She lost all her senses as the tray teetered precariously over her arm and fell with a noisy clatter on the floor. The couple jumped apart and Harry looked over the balcony to see who had interrupted them.  
  
"Hermione?" he asked, his eyes surveying the mass surrounding her feet and the pained look in her eyes. "Hermione, what's wrong?"  
  
But she couldn't answer him. Not now. Not after what she's seen. She turned on her heel and felt her way out of the Common Room.  
  
Not her, Harry. Don't let it be her. Choose me. Kiss me.  
  
Love me. 


	3. What's Right In Front Of You

A/N: I'm doing this chapter in Hermione's POV. I found that it's easier to express hurt emotions in the first person so, here goes. By the way, thanks to the ONE PERSON who gave me a review so far. *sigh*  
  
DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter characters.not me. *another sigh*  
  
CHAPTER 3: WHAT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM  
  
After that night at the Common Room, I had successfully avoided seeing Harry. Not that it was that hard. Whenever I did see him from the corner of my eye, he was always with Diana and the image in my mind of them kissing was still fresh in my memory so I always strayed the path. I took my meals earlier or later, to avoid running into them and I usually sat at the library after mealtimes, else taking a walk toward Hagrid's hut, but turning away at the last moment, fearing that he might bombard me with questions. Ron began to notice, however, that they hardly saw me anymore and took the opportunity to talk to me when I was returning late from a library sojourn.  
  
"What's going on?" Ron asked, stepping directly in front of me.  
  
I gave him a tired smile. "I don't know what you're talking about," I said and kept on walking. Ron fell into step beside me.  
  
"I know you well enough to know that something's going on, Hermione. I haven't seen you for days! I mean, you never seem to come with us during mealtimes and you hardly spend any time with me, what with Harry having a new girlfriend and all."  
  
I flinched involuntarily upon hearing the words 'Harry' and 'girlfriend' in the same sentence. "So, because Harry chose to spend his time with someone else, you come running to me. Dear, old Hermione, the faithful back-up," I snapped.  
  
Almost immediately, I regretted what I had said, seeing the look of surprise and hurt in Ron's eyes. He didn't deserve what I said. I was the one with the problem, not him. "Sorry, Ron," I mumbled sheepishly. "I didn't mean it. I'm just - tired."  
  
"Herm," he said, facing me before I mumbled the password to my room. "There's something wrong. I can feel it."  
  
"How could you possibly know that?" I asked in a whisper.  
  
"Because we haven't been best friends for seven years for nothing, you know."  
  
That's true.  
  
I mumbled my password ("Fellytone!") and as the portrait door swung open, I asked him, "You promise to keep it a secret?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I told Ron everything. The annoyance with Diana, how I helped the two of them, the kiss and the fact that I have hidden deep in my heart, but was yet to be announced.  
  
"You're in love with Harry," Ron finished for me.  
  
Well, so much for a grand finale. "I guess it was obvious from the story, huh?" I asked, hugging my pillow to my knees.  
  
Ron traced the stitched pattern on my comforter with his index finger. "Not really. I kinda figured out that you might have feelings for him since our fourth year."  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"The kiss," he replied simply.  
  
"What kiss?"  
  
"You gave Harry a kiss when we got off the train. Everyone was assuming that I had a crush on you or you had a crush on me or something, but I was looking at the two of you. You were always watching out for him and I was semi-positive that you kissed him to make Krum jealous, but it backfired. You kissed him because you felt something there, but you just didn't know it yet."  
  
I looked at Ron with appraising eyes. "And since when did you suddenly become the love expert?"  
  
"Hey, I may seem a little insensitive."  
  
"Try a lot."  
  
"Moving on," he mumbled, smiling. "I'm a romantic at heart, Herm. I believe in those love at first sight things. I think you've loved Harry ever since you first saw him, you just weren't able to name the feeling yet because it's still new to you. But now, you're aware of it. The question is, what are you planning to do about it?"  
  
The admittance that Ron Weasley believed in 'love at first sight' was enough to make me forget about my own love problems for a while - had he not added the last part. "What am I planning to do about what?" I asked innocently.  
  
"About this whole Harry-Diana thing. Tomorrow's Christmas Day, Herm, and you know we all have to eat Christmas dinner together at the Great Hall. Are you planning on sleeping in, then sneaking to the kitchens again?"  
  
"No," I muttered darkly. "I'll - I'll be there."  
  
"You don't sound so sure."  
  
"I thought you've figured it out, Ron!" I exclaimed. "How can I face him with her tomorrow night? I almost used up all my tears the night I saw him." I let my voice trail away. I still couldn't say it aloud. Harry kissed someone else when I wanted him to kiss me.  
  
Ron sidled next to me and placed a comforting arm on my shoulder. I leaned into him, relishing the warmth of his body next to mine. This was just right, I realized and I felt that he thought so, too. There was nothing between us but pure friendship. We could try to be in a relationship together but we know it will never work out. We were too alike and would crash as a couple, but we were great as best friends.  
  
"You just have to make him see what he'll be missing out on by not loving you," he said.  
  
I sniffed. "How do I do that?"  
  
"Be yourself, Herm. Just be yourself."  
  
"Be myself? He doesn't notice me when I'm myself, Ron. I'm just Hermione, the best friend to him."  
  
"You have to trust me. I know Harry's hormones a lot better than you do because we're both going through it. Diana's beautiful and new, but she'll wear off on him after a while. Harry's not stupid enough not to see what's right in front him, Hermione."  
  
"Ronald Weasley, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me." I smiled and gave him a small peck on the cheek. "Thank you."  
  
He smiled gingerly and returned my kiss with a kiss on my forehead. "Save those kisses for Harry. Don't worry, he'll come around."  
  
I sighed. I really hope he was right. 


	4. The Christmas Dinner

A/N: Okay, I know it's not that sad yet but trust me - - - once you read the last chapter, I'm betting that even JUST ONE TEAR will well up in your eyes.  
  
DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter characters.  
  
CHAPTER 4: THE CHRISTMAS DINNER  
  
Ron and I had talked all night, discussing our plans after we leave Hogwarts and imagining where our other classmates will end up. Ron wanted to play for his favorite Quidditch team, the Chudley Cannons and was hoping to get a tryout by the end of term. He played Keeper on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team ever since Oliver Wood had relinquished his post to play for Puddlemere United. I had pointed out the possible unlikeliness of this before he also admitted that he'd also like to work as an Auror for the Ministry of Magic. I, on the other hand, had thought of working for Gringotts but also entertained thoughts of working in the Ministry. I had heard from Fleur Delacour (who's a TA here in Hogwarts) that Beauxbatons Academy was looking for someone to teach Arithmancy, and I was also considering looking into it. Professor McGonagall had always told me that I'd probably make a good professor someday. But I was also thinking of going to a Muggle university. My parents had been hinting at the idea all summer and even Professor Dumbledore was in on it. I told Ron about the time Professor Dumbledore called me to his office during the start of term and was telling me about a wizard friend of his who was a dean in Cambridge. He could probably get you in, he had told me. You have exceptional marks, Miss Granger and I don't think Milos (the Cambridge wizard) will have any trouble fixing you up there. After which, you may be able to qualify as a candidate for Ambassador to Muggles in England. A most prestigious honor.  
  
You're not seriously thinking about going to work in the Muggle world, Ron had said. I wasn't able to answer. Mum and Dad were pleased when Professor Dumbledore owled them about the special arrangements. If I consented to it, I was to study Political Science, learning about the constitution and laws of England. The only difference would be I would also be studying Wizarding Laws, in congruence to the course. Only then would I be able to return to the wizarding world and work as a diplomat. Of course, I haven't given them an answer yet.  
  
Anyway, Ron had fallen asleep in my room again. Honestly, I think that he falls asleep on purpose because he likes my sheets. He always commented that my sheets smell nice and were fluffy. I woke up, feeling happier than I've been in the past few days. Stretching my arms sideways, I had accidentally hit Ron on the head - he didn't even stir. If Ron hadn't been snoring, I'd have thought that he was dead.  
  
"Morning," someone said from across the bed. I shrieked in surprise and made Ron squirm to his side, muttering, "Just save some waffles for me, Mum."  
  
"Harry?"  
  
Sure enough, he was there, clad in a white turtleneck sweater I had never seen him wear before and khaki pants. He was sitting on the plush armchair that used to face the fireplace, but was now directed to the bed. His intense green eyes were wide awake and flashing with an emotion that I just can't place.  
  
"Ron didn't come back last night and this morning, so I got worried. This isn't what I'd call a wonderful Christmas present," he said, arms crossed over his chest.  
  
I nudged Ron. "Ron," I said, poking him in the ribs. "Ron, wake up. We've got company."  
  
He still didn't budge.  
  
"Ron!" I said a little too loudly, and nudging a little too strongly. He fell off the edge of the bed with a thud.  
  
A moment later, Ron's tousled head popped up. "Is it time to eat yet?" he yawned.  
  
"No," Harry replied, looking from him to me then back again. "I was wondering why you didn't come back to the dorms last night."  
  
Ron climbed back on the bed and nuzzled the pillow he had his head on. "I saw Hermione coming out of the library last night and I decided to walk her back. I guess we lost track of time because we were talking about our futures. Hey, did you know that Neville's probably going to replace Professor Sprout in Herbology and would one day be Head of Hufflepuff House?" Ron snickered, still half-asleep.  
  
"So you just fell asleep beside her?" he asked, his eyes still flashing with an emotion I couldn't place.  
  
"Chill out, Harry. We didn't do anything that you and your new girlfriend hasn't done first," Ron replied. I nudged him again. That was one taunt too far.  
  
Fortunately, Harry seemed used to Ron's early morning teasing and paid no attention to his last statement. "I thought you'd like to open presents together." He smiled. "Like we always do," he added.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want to do that with your girlfriend?" Ron snorted. I nudged him again, harder this time.  
  
"Diana's not my girlfriend, Ron. Not yet. Besides, she's asleep. I can't just wake her up."  
  
Ron found it funny, as he looked at me. "He can't wake her up but he can wake us up."  
  
Final straw. I pushed Ron over the bed again. I stood up and grabbed my bathrobe. "If we're going to open presents, let's go now, before everybody else wakes up. I'm not exactly a sight to behold this morning."  
  
Ron stood up and brushed himself off. He strolled over to the portrait door and started babbling. "I hope Mum's got something else for me this Christmas other than a Weasley sweater. I'd settle for a tee shirt that says My parents went to the Caribbean and all I got was this lousy shirt!"  
  
Harry followed Ron, but waited until I closed my portrait door before falling into step beside me. We descended the steps leading to the Gryffindor Common Room, Ron, all the while, chatting away and filling the enclave with his loud voice. Harry had to lean close to talk to me.  
  
"I haven't been seeing you around a lot, Hermione," he told me, his head bent.  
  
He sounded defeated, a little sad. And I could feel that he did feel remorse about our sudden shift in friendship. "You've been busy," I said, thankful that Ron's voice disguised any untoward emotion that may have mixed with my answers.  
  
Harry ran his right hand through his hair and I bit my lip. A simple action made me want to kiss him so badly that I could barely control myself. But Ron's monologue (A coconut with a bright umbrella straw - that's the ticket!) kept me grounded.  
  
"Yeah, well, that's my fault. I have been spending a lot of time with Diana."  
  
I realized then that just hearing Harry say her name hurt me.  
  
"I've been wanting to ask you, Hermione. What were you doing that night you saw me standing outside the girls' dormitory?"  
  
Images of the evening I was trying hard to forget pushed themselves into my mind. "I - I was coming back from the kitchen. I had asked Dobby for a late- night dinner and I was coming to see you.and Ron. To apologize for being nasty and cranky."  
  
"Why did you run out so suddenly?"  
  
I had dreaded being asked this question, but I was prepared. "I saw a rat run across the Common Room. It surprised me."  
  
Harry looked as if he wanted to ask me something again, but thought better of it. "What?" I pressed.  
  
He smiled. I liked the way he smiled. It was so genuine and sincere and comforting. I've been seeing his smile for the past seven years of my life and I looked forward to those smiles. To me, it always seemed to tell me that everything will be all right. That he'll take care of everything.  
  
"I thought you ran out because you saw me kiss Diana."  
  
I flinched again, but this time he noticed.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," I lied. Harry, unlike Ron, didn't press for information when I say nothing. I was safe - safe behind the wall that locked my secret. For now.  
  
We reached the Gryffindor Common Room, with Ron yelling "Presents!" at the top of his lungs.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
The Great Hall was decked to perfection, as always, during the Christmas Dinner. There weren't many students left but 5 Gryffindors, 2 Ravenclaws, a Hufflepuff and a Slytherin, plus Fred and George Weasley. The students and the teachers sat around the Gryffindor House table, chatting noisily and eagerly anticipating the meal that would be appearing in a matter of moments. Fred and George were showing Professor Dumbledore some new tricks they had invented for their shop and the headmaster was enjoying it immensely, his eyes shining and heart bursting with pride at the two men who had filled Hogwarts and the rest of the wizarding world with laughter and hope during the Dark times. The other students looked over the twins' inventions eagerly, fascinated with the Canary Creams they had brought (I'm going to try to trick Snape with it, Fred had declared) and were asking to tell the tale of Harry's cousin, Dudley, and the Ton-Tongue Toffee. Harry and Diana were already there when Ron and I arrived.  
  
Harry looked perfect and happy, and I began to lose my nerve. Ron had prepped me before the Dinner, helping me smooth Sleekeazy in my hair and giving me words of encouragement. I felt Ron squeeze my hand as we walked toward the table and we sat down directly opposite the happy couple.  
  
"Hello, Hermione," Diana said sweetly. As much as I wanted to ignore her, I had told Ron that I would be decidedly friendly with her. After all, as long as she was making Harry happy, I was fine with it. Ron had only looked at me with a sad smile.  
  
"Don't be a martyr, Hermione. Tell him how you feel," Ron had told me.  
  
But I couldn't. Not now. Not yet.  
  
"Happy Christmas, Diana," I replied. "You too, Harry."  
  
"Those are gorgeous earrings," Diana said, referring to the sapphire studs my parents had given me for my seventeenth birthday.  
  
"Thanks. They were a gift."  
  
"From who?" Harry wanted to know. A strange answer popped into my head, one that would elicit a response which I needed to observe to know if he felt something for me, other than as a friend.  
  
"From Viktor," I said. I felt Ron's knee nudge my leg disapprovingly under the table.  
  
"Were they a Christmas present?" Harry continued, his facial expression not changing.  
  
"Yes," I answered, ignoring Ron's knee. Damn it, I need to know!  
  
"Viktor Krum?" Diana asked. "The Quidditch player? You know him?"  
  
Harry was still looking at (I wasn't sure) me or my earrings. "Hermione was dating him during our fifth year, but it was never really a big thing. I thought you said he was over you."  
  
"That's what I thought, too." If Ron doesn't stop with his knee, I'm going to clip the twigs off his Nimbus Two Thousand. "But it's very sweet of him, really. I feel bad, though. I didn't get him anything at all."  
  
Wow, this game is so easy to play. Too bad I'm not getting the kind of response that I want from Harry.  
  
"Where's my gift?" Harry asked me. This morning, I had received a gold friendship bracelet from him. A small, flat nameplate held his, Ron's and my names on it. I didn't take it out of its box tonight. I kept thinking that if I wore it, it would probably be the closest I will ever be to him.  
  
But right now, I thought that I had made a good decision by not wearing it. Let him feel how it is to be taken for granted for a change. I made a show of looking over to Fred and George before answering. "It's back in my room."  
  
"I thought you were going to wear it tonight," Harry said, his face taking on a crestfallen expression.  
  
"It doesn't really go well with my robes, Harry." Ron sighed next to me and I knew I had said the wrong thing, but I didn't care. Let him feel how it is not to be noticed.  
  
My plan backfired. Diana, seeing the look on Harry's face, shoved the sleeve of her robe to reveal a beautiful gold bracelet, a lot like the one he gave me, but with small, rose-shaped, gold charms. "Your gift is wonderful, Harry. I've never been given anything like this."  
  
And just like that, he turned his attention from me to her. Damn her.  
  
"Do you really like it, Diana?" he asked slowly.  
  
"Yes," she said. "I do." She has the power of making men feel like they're the most perfect guy on earth. And I hated her for it.  
  
"I don't feel very well," I said, standing up and sprinting out of the Great Hall. 


	5. A Heartbreak in Hogsmeade

A/N: Can anybody tell me how I can make the italicized letters stay in my sentences? Thanks to the TWO PEOPLE who reviewed my story. *sigh*  
  
DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter characters. (Except Diana Owens)  
  
CHAPTER 5: A BREAKING HEART IN HOGSMEADE  
  
With the Christmas holidays over and the all the students have returned to Hogwarts, it became easier for me to avoid Harry. That little episode during the Christmas dinner didn't go well at all and Ron didn't fail to remind me about it.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
"You do know that you shouldn't have told him that your earrings were a gift from Krum, don't you?" Ron told me. He had followed me to my room after I ran out of the Great Hall, telling me that I missed a great Christmas dinner and that Harry had asked him what was wrong with me.  
  
"I know," I muttered darkly, turning around in my bed so my back was facing him. Ron was sitting at the edge of my bed.  
  
"So, why did you do it?"  
  
"Nothing. I just wanted him to feel...jealous, I guess."  
  
"Hermione, Harry could never be jealous of Krum. He's just angry with the guy because he hurt you. I'm angry with him, too, you know."  
  
I sat up, clinging to my comforter. "It seemed right at that time. And it seemed easy to play. I mean, I see it in Muggle movies all the time and they turn out all right."  
  
"But they're movies, Hermione! They're a far cry from reality and you shouldn't be taking your cue from them."  
  
"It doesn't matter anyway," I muttered. "I've already proven that he can't possibly see me in that light."  
  
Ron leaned over and gave me a hug. "Don't give up, Herm. Harry's bound to realize his feelings for you sooner or later. I mean, Diana's great to look at and she's nice, but you...you're everything she is and more. You're one of his best friends."  
  
I could feel my eyes well up with tears. "That's why I'm put on the pedestal and it's her in his arms."  
  
*End of Flashback*  
  
But now that classes were resuming again, I became busy again with my task as Head Girl and studying for the upcoming N.E.W.Ts. Plus, I'm being pressured by my parents and Professor Dumbledore to come to a decision about Cambridge. I must admit, studying in Cambridge is quite appealing and I guess if I hadn't gone to Hogwarts, I'd probably wish that I would get into a prestigious university like Cambridge for a secondary education. But still, I wasn't sure. I liked my life in the wizarding world. It's far more interesting than working and living among Muggles, that's for sure. And the diplomat job entailed that I would be working in the Muggle world. It's a very difficult decision, and one that I have been putting off for several months now.  
  
*Fast Forward to 3 Weeks Before the End of Term*  
  
Three more weeks and I'd be leaving Hogwarts forever, I thought to myself while walking along the lake at night. Then what?  
  
I had received my NEWT marks by post yesterday and, it should come as no surprise to anybody, that I had received the highest marks than any of the other seventh-years. Mum and Dad were exceedingly proud that they began promising me my own car once I had returned home. Like I could drive a car around Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley. Professor Dumbledore had told me that the Cambridge wizard, Milos Asser, was looking forward to placing me under his wing as his protégee, although I still haven't given them a decision yet. Even with my NEWT marks, I could get a decent job in the wizarding world, but not as distinguished a position as a diplomat or ambassador. Ron was bent on trying to dissuade me from pursuing a secondary education.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
"Come on, Herm. Harry and I have tryouts for three, professional Quidditch teams after school ends and we're bound to get into one of them - Harry especially. Then you can go off and marry Harry and you wouldn't need to work at all."  
  
Hardly encouraging. Definitely not happening.  
  
I sighed loudly. "I wish."  
  
"Once Diana goes away, Hermione..."  
  
"He'll pine for her," I interrupted.  
  
"No," Ron declared stubbornly. "He'll mope about her for a while but realize that it's you he really loves."  
  
"Have you seen the two of them lately, Ron? They're attached at the hip. They're always snogging and Merlin-knows-what-else they've been doing." I really didn't want to think of they could be doing anymore than I have to.  
  
"Harry's not daft. Sure, he likes her now but, let's face it, she doesn't know him."  
  
"What?"  
  
"She doesn't know him the way you do, Herm. And you can't supply her information about the things Harry likes and doesn't like all her life. You worked hard to find out those things, if she's not willing to work for it then she's definitely not good enough for him. But you are."  
  
How I wished it was true - that I, bookish, dowdy and plain Hermione Granger, am good enough for the Famous Harry Potter. I even got by for the next several days repeating it to myself, like a mantra. Until that announcement of the final Hogsmeade weekend and the unexpected invitation.  
  
*End of Flashback*  
  
Harry had asked me to accompany him to Hogsmeade, two weeks before the end of term. He said he had 'something very special to buy for a very special someone' and he gave me one of those dreamy smiles. My heart jumped a little at being invited - maybe all hope isn't lost after all.  
  
So there we were, strolling along Hogsmeade, laughing and joking like we used to do B.D. - Before Diana. We drank butterbeers at the Three Broomsticks, bought a package of Chocolate Frogs to bring back to Ron who was busy training for his Cannons tryout in several weeks, and dropped by to see Fred and George at their shop. So far, the day had been like any other day that the three of us had spent in Hogsmeade - but today we made a final stop in a shop I had never entered before.  
  
The sign said Goldman's, in swirly gold lettering and I gave a tiny gasp when we entered inside. The shop was a jewelry store, it's shelves filled to the nines with all kinds of designs and sparkling stones. I saw two, life-size statues of dogs (that looked remarkably like Grims) moulded in pure gold that stood menacingly in two corners of the shop, a silver- moulded peacock stood just beside the old register, studded with deep blue sapphires and dark green emeralds. Funny, just by looking at the emerald, I imagined Harry's eyes and I felt my face get hot. We moved toward the glass cases, displaying an impressive array of gold matrimonial ropes in different lengths and thickness, brooches whose stones change color and the most magnificent display of rings, all studded with valuable rocks. I could barely breathe.  
  
An old man, whom I guess is Mr. Goldman, popped out from behind the glass case so suddenly that I jumped. But he didn't look scary or foreboding at all, unlike those snotty jewelry shop people in London that shooed kids away from their shops. In fact, his eyes almost seemed like blue crystals but I shook off the thought. Harry cleared his throat. "Good afternoon, sir. I'm looking for a ring."  
  
A ring! My mind screamed in confusion and my heart beat in an abnormally fast rate. Why was he buying a ring? And who was he buying the ring for?  
  
I didn't have to wait long for an answer because Harry had an unusually bright smile plastered on his face while chatting away with Mr. Goldman. "No, I'm not yet ready for the matrimonial rope but someday I might. The one I'm giving this ring to will be going away in a couple of weeks' time and I don't want her to forget me."  
  
I was surprised that neither of them had heard my heartbeat yet. I realized that I was gripping the Honeydukes' bag too tight when I felt my fingernails dig into the skin of my palm.  
  
"And is this a special lady?" Mr. Goldman asked, opening the glass case.  
  
Harry looked at me with those beautiful eyes that I've loved forever and I held my breath. "Very special."  
  
"Hermione..." he began, a small, shy smile creeping onto his face as he stared into my eyes.  
  
"Yes?" I whispered.  
  
"Would you help me pick out a ring for Diana?"  
  
It was then that I felt my world crumble around me. All coherence left my brain and I felt my knees wobble slightly, threatening to bring me down. But I couldn't fall - not physically. But my soul has left me upon those ten words - the ten, most hurtful words I'll ever hear in my entire life.  
  
And I smiled.  
  
Like he's just asked me to marry him.  
  
"I'm surprised you even had to ask, Harry," I said, successfully keeping the hurt and the pain out of my voice. Keep neutral, keep calm. Help him out and you'll be back in your room soon. You can't do anything by crying in front of him.  
  
He won't be able to comfort you anyway.  
  
Harry still fixed those loving eyes on me and I turned my head away. "I knew you'd help me. I just don't understand these things. You're the greatest." He leaned forward and gave me a hug.  
  
I wanted to hug him back, to be able to feel him so close to me that I could hardly take it. But I squirmed out of his embrace and patted him slowly on the shoulder. "We should get to the task at hand. That ring won't buy itself you know."  
  
Ron was right. I was always there for him - even if it was already killing me inside.  
  
"Right," Harry agreed a little reluctantly, looking at me in a curious manner. He turned his eyes to the glass case. "That's pretty," he said, pointing to a gold band with pale pink stones. Mr. Goldman pulled it out of the case.  
  
"Oh yes," he drawled, fixing the ring in the light so it shone magnificently. "An opal is very pretty and quite perfect for the most delicate of women."  
  
Harry held the ring in his hand. "Yeah, she's delicate, all right." His eyes turned to another ring, this time to a gold band, set with a darker pink stone in the shape of a rose and framed by several emerald dots that could only be the leaves. "What about that one?"  
  
"The Ring of Beauty," the shopkeeper said, also pulling it out. "Only for the most beautiful of women."  
  
"Oh, yeah. That she is. What about...?"  
  
"What about that one?" I suddenly piped up, pointing at a simple ring that sat in the corner of the glass case. It was not as ostentatious as the other rings because of its silver band and the simple, clear stones that were encrusted all around it. But I saw it, out of the corner of my eye, because it was so simply beautiful that it hurt me to look at it. Mr. Goldman gave me an odd glance as he bent down t retrieve it very carefully, as if it would break with the slightest touch. He didn't need to fix it in the light as he did with the others because it gave its own distinct shine. I was breathless.  
  
Harry peered at it. "It's not very impressive, isn't it?" he remarked. "I want Diana to be totally blown away."  
  
But Mr. Goldman and I were hardly listening to him. I was looking at the ring and he was looking at me. "This," he told me in a hushed voice. "This is the Ring of True Love."  
  
"True Love?" I repeated. "Why do you call it that?"  
  
"Because, Miss, the person who chooses this ring means that whoever it is who is in their heart is their true love. Other people simply ignore it because it is so plain but only one who is truly in love with the right person can see it for what it really is." He leaned forward and pushed the ring to me. "See the stones? They are the symbol of eternal love. Diamonds."  
  
"Diamonds!" I breathed.  
  
"Those are diamonds?" Harry asked, coming in closer. He picked up the ring and surveyed it. "This is perfect," he declared, holding the ring up to the light. "Isn't it, Hermione?"  
  
I looked at the ring, then at Harry, then glanced away. "Perfect," I whispered.  
  
"Diana would love this, wouldn't she?"  
  
"I don't see why she wouldn't."  
  
"I'll take this, sir. And may I also have a box to keep it in? Just so the diamonds won't lose their shine."  
  
Mr. Goldman looked from the lovestruck boy to the pained girl by his side and saw the truth. He has been selling jewelry for almost all his life and he could tell his customers' emotions just by knowing what type of jewelry they bought. The boy? He knew who he was. He was Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. And yet, he saw him now as the Boy Who Lived and Loved the Wrong Person. Whoever this girl was that he was giving the Ring of True Love to, he thought, was not his true love. Because if she was, he would have seen the ring for what it really was and not thought of it as unimpressive. But the girl...  
  
He set his eyes on the girl who was pretending to look at the rest of the rings in the glass case. She saw the ring, and he saw her look at Harry Potter and he knew. This girl loved him but Harry Potter loved someone else - and she was hurting, but desperately trying to hide it. He didn't want to sell the ring to someone who was going to give it to the wrong person, especially when the right one was standing beside you. But he never meddled in his customers' personal affairs and he thought twice about telling Harry that his father had bought the exact same ring eighteen years ago for his mother. It just might come out wrong and the girl would be crushed.  
  
He rang up his purchase and placed the ring inside a small velvet box. He gave a final glance to the girl who stood quietly behind Harry and felt her pain. He wished he could do something, but he never meddled.  
  
"Let the ring show you who you really love, my dear boy," he told him, handing him the small package. Harry gave him an odd sort of smile before ushering his friend out.  
  
Well, he thought to himself as he watched the two of them exit his shop. It's never too late to start. 


	6. Running Away

DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter characters.  
  
CHAPTER 6: RUNNING AWAY  
  
"You mustn't give up hope, Hermione!"  
  
"Ron, it's over," I said flatly. "He's going to ask her to be his girlfriend tonight and I'm officially out of the picture."  
  
"But, Herm, you don't really believe that he could love her. I mean, what that old guy at the jewelry shop said can't be a joke."  
  
I brushed my hair hard, pulling at the frizz. "I don't believe in that. I mean, a ring that can tell if you're really in love with a person? There's no such thing."  
  
"And there's supposed to be no such thing as dragons or wizards either and, yet, here we all are!" Ron exclaimed.  
  
I brushed my hair with renewed vigor. "It's over, Ron," I repeated. "I don't want to set myself up for anymore disappointments."  
  
"Hermione..."  
  
"It's over."  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I had been reading a book by the fireplace in the Common Room when a blast of smoke and dust filled the hearth and I saw someone come out of it.  
  
"Sirius?" I asked, shocked.  
  
He coughed a little and dusted himself off. "I hate travelling by Floo Powder. Never again," he muttered. He smiled brightly at me and immediately walked to my side. "Hermione! Just the person I wanted to see. How's everything going?"  
  
I gave him an odd look. "Fine," I said slowly.  
  
"Good, good. And Harry? How's he?"  
  
"You didn't hit your head on any stray fireplaces on the way here, did you, Sirius?" I asked him.  
  
"Don't be silly, Hermione. I've never felt better. Where is my godson? I'd have thought he's spending his evenings with you now. Have to admit, I was surprised at first but it's not something I wasn't expecting to happen all along..."  
  
"What? What are you talking about?"  
  
"No need to get all innocent on me, Hermione," Sirius said, grinning. "I know all about you and Harry. It was all over Hogsmeade that the two of you were seen exiting Goldman's yesterday afternoon with a small parcel. So? Where is it?"  
  
I sank back into the couch. "Where's what?"  
  
"The ring!" he exclaimed heartily. "I hope Harry wasn't daft enough to not pick the Ring of True Love. I remember when James had bought it for Lily during our seventh year..."  
  
"Harry's dad bought it for his mum?"  
  
"Of course. No other ring would be meaningful enough. I didn't like it at first, always thought it looked so plain but it seemed that it really did tell you if the person you're going to give it to is the one you really love or not. James certainly found that the stories were true." He gave me another crazy grin. "So, where is it? Come on, you have to show me sometime."  
  
"I expect he's probably giving it to her now," I answered, pretending to be engrossed in my book.  
  
Sirius' brows furrowed. "I don't understand. Giving it to who? I thought you had it."  
  
"I don't," I replied simply. "I only helped pick it out. Harry's giving it to someone else."  
  
"To who?"  
  
"Diana Owens."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"It doesn't matter," I sighed. "You'd probably be meeting her soon anyway."  
  
But Sirius didn't let up. "How did Harry see it?"  
  
"He didn't see it. I did."  
  
"You could only see the ring if you were truly in love with someone," Sirius reminded me. "Are you?"  
  
"Am I what?"  
  
"Are you in love? More specifically, are you in love with Harry?"  
  
I didn't like the course this conversation was taking. "If you hurry, you could probably catch them before they leave Hagrid's hut to congratulate him and his new girlfriend."  
  
"Hermione."  
  
"He's giving it to someone else," I said flatly.  
  
"You do, don't you? You love him."  
  
I made a face. "If I did, what would you do? I can't do anything, Sirius, even if I do love him."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because he's happy!" I cried, flinging my book on the floor. I've had enough of this. If he wants the truth, then I'll give him the truth, damn it! "Do you think I didn't try to make him know how I feel? Do you think I like standing in the background, being the faithful best friend and watching him go after girls who are prettier and smarter and funnier than I am? Do you think I liked picking out that ring just so he could go give it to someone else?" My face felt red and my heart was pounding in my chest. "I didn't like doing any of those things but I did it because he's happy with her. You should see them together, Sirius. They're perfect."  
  
"And you don't think that the two of you could also be perfect?"  
  
"Look at me, Sirius!" I exclaimed. "I'm not exactly a prize catch and I'm not anything extraordinary. I get by on books and cleverness, without them I'm just a shell. Harry deserves someone who's good enough for him."  
  
"And you're not?"  
  
"Compared to her, no." I sat back on the couch, trying to ease my breathing.  
  
"Let's go," Sirius said suddenly, pulling me to my feet.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"We're going to look for Harry and I'm going to knock some sense into him." He pulled me outside the portrait door, through the corridors and outside the doors of the Front Hall.  
  
"Sirius, no," I begged. This isn't what I needed - seeing Harry and Diana together on the most special night of their lives, wishing that it was her being proposed to.  
  
"Hermione, I know you love Harry. I've seen it in your eyes. And I know he feels something for you, too. He just doesn't recognize it because it's a new feeling to him."  
  
"How could you possibly know that?" I asked him, debating with myself whether I should continue squirming from his grip or allow myself to be dragged on the grass.  
  
"Because I've seen the exact same signs that I saw in James and Lily."  
  
"But Harry's dad wasn't daft and his mum was beautiful. I would've been surprised if he hadn't noticed her."  
  
Sirius thrust me in front of him, his eyes knowing. "When you love someone, Hermione, you fight for him."  
  
"How can I fight for someone who's opened his heart to another and closed his heart to me?" I whispered, teary-eyed. We had reached the trees around the lake and I saw the moonlight shine down on the calm waters. At the edge of the lake, several feet where Sirius and I stood, we could make out the forms of two other people, the two people I didn't want to see tonight. Harry and Diana.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I wanted to slip away quietly, but my feet were rooted to the ground. I knew this wasn't something I wanted to see but I just stood still as a statue. Beside me, I could hear Sirius breathing.  
  
"Diana," we heard Harry say, and his hand touched her cheek so intimately that I winced. She looked so beautiful, I thought to myself. My hand flew to my cheek and imagined what it would have been like to have Harry caress me like that.  
  
"I have something to give you," Harry said, almost shyly.  
  
Diana's sea green eyes sparkled expectantly. "What is it?"  
  
I could see Harry slip his hand under his robes to produce the familiar velveteen box they had purchased at Goldman's yesterday afternoon. He handed it to her with a flourish. "Open it."  
  
Slowly, Diana lifted the lid and even in the darkness, the diamonds shone brightly. "Oh, Harry," she whispered. "It's beautiful."  
  
"Do you like it? I'm hoping you would."  
  
"Harry," she whispered again, not taking the ring out of the box. "Why - ?"  
  
She was cut short as Harry's mouth caught her words. He pulled her closer to him and I felt my heart constrict. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see anymore of the love I wished for. I had to leave. I had to escape. To where? I don't know. All I know is I have to leave Harry before he gets the chance to leave me.  
  
"I'm sorry, Sirius," I choked out and ran from him and the happy couple. I heard a branch crack under my shoes as I ran but I didn't look back.  
  
Even when I heard Harry's voice calling my name.  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
The moment was gone. Earlier, he had been kissing Diana and was so close in getting an answer from her. But he had heard something crack in the trees around them and he spotted his godfather with a sad look on his face - and someone else, running from the trees, toward the castle.  
  
Hermione.  
  
"Hermione!" he called after her. Something made her cry, he knows it and began to run after her, but Sirius stopped him.  
  
"Sirius, let me go. Something's wrong with Hermione," Harry said, flailing under his godfather's strong grip.  
  
"Let her go, Harry," Sirius had told him in a dark, calm voice. "She's already suffered enough pain."  
  
"What?" Harry asked. "What are you talking about? What pain? Has someone hurt her?"  
  
Sirius looked at Diana. He gave her a sad smile. "You're very lucky to get that ring," he told her. Diana looked down at the grass.  
  
"Sirius, I've got to get to Hermione," Harry pressed. "If somebody's hurt her, I'm sure she'll tell me."  
  
"Just let her go, Harry," Sirius repeated sadly.  
  
"Why do you keep saying that? Hermione's my best friend. I can help her."  
  
"No, you can't."  
  
"Why not?" Harry demanded.  
  
"Because she loves you, Harry," Diana said calmly.  
  
Both men turned to face her, but only one looked surprised. "What?" Harry asked.  
  
"You've figured it out?" Sirius wanted to know.  
  
Diana nodded. "A long time ago."  
  
"I'm sorry," Sirius said.  
  
"It's bound to reveal itself. If not today, then later."  
  
"Can anybody tell me what's going on?" Harry demanded again.  
  
"I think I'll give the two of you some privacy," Sirius announced before Disapparating. Harry turned around to face Diana.  
  
"Here," she said, placing the ring and its box in Harry's hands. "I don't deserve this."  
  
"I bought it for you, Diana."  
  
"You bought it because Hermione liked it, because she said it was beautiful."  
  
"How did you know -?"  
  
"It's all over Hogsmeade yesterday." She smiled delicately and placed the slightest kiss on his forehead. "It's been great being with you, Harry, but I think we both know who you should really be with."  
  
"I should be with you."  
  
"No, Harry. Don't deny what's in your heart. It's Hermione who you should be with. I'm just the person who has to make you see it."  
  
"Hermione?" Harry asked. "Hermione is my best friend, Diana..."  
  
"And she loves you, Harry. I can see it in the way she looks at you. I can hear it in her words whenever she speaks of you. I can feel it in the way she's so protective and caring of you. Think about it, Harry. The reason why you and I are together is because of her. Even the ring you chose is because of her. And tonight - tonight just confirmed everything."  
  
"Confirmed what?"  
  
"That you do love her, Harry! You don't realize that it's there yet, but it is. You were ready to run after her, to leave me here alone." Diana smiled. "You've been great, Harry, really. And I do like you. But I don't want to stand in the way of true love. Search deep within your soul, Harry. You'll find that it's her you truly love."  
  
"Diana, I..."  
  
She put a finger to his lips. "Sometimes, Harry, what you're looking for is right in front of you."  
  
~ * ~ * ~ * ~  
  
I felt my way blindly along the corridors, wanting to go back to my room and cry my pain away. I thought I was ready to accept their relationship, to be the supportive friend. But seeing them tonight made my heart ache so much that I couldn't breathe. Harry didn't love me - could never love me. And I could never stop loving him. Everything was too much and I had to get out of Hogwarts, away from anything that reminded me of Harry Potter.  
  
I wiped my tears away and mumbled the password to Professor Dumbledore's office.  
  
"Miss Granger," Professor Dumbledore said, as if expecting me to come all along.  
  
"Sir," I said, finding my voice. "Does your Cambridge offer still stand?" 


	7. Epilogue: The Promise

A/N: Last chapter, you guys. I really hope you liked my story, even if it's totally mushy. This is just a prequel though, so make sure you read my next fic, "As If We Never Said Goodbye". Thanks, y'all!

DISCLAIMER: J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter characters.

EPILOGUE: THE PROMISE

My things were all packed and stacked neatly inside the carriage that stood outside the Hogwarts Front Hall. I had asked Professor Dumbledore if he could let me leave early, a day before the graduation rites were to be performed due to personal circumstances. I think he knows what's troubling me, though. After all, I have been avoiding Harry all the time now and I refuse to talk about him.

Ron and Ginny were there to wish me farewell. I had asked them not to tell Harry where I was going or what I was planning to do. I needed to forget about my feelings for him and to do that, I didn't want to see him.

Finally, the carriage was all ready to go and I gave Ron a final hug. "Do you know how grateful I am to have you as my best friend?" I told him, clinging to his embrace.

"Not really, but now that you've said it, you should really try and tell me more often," he kidded. We withdrew from each other's arms and held our gaze. "You know he's not going to be happy with you leaving without telling him."

"Diana's there. She'll make him happy," I replied. I produced a piece of parchment from my robes and handed it to him. "But give Harry this, will you? I owe him this much, at least."

Ron nodded, taking the parchment from me. He smiled and hugged me again. "I'll miss you, Hermione. You will write, won't you?"

"Of course. Loads and loads. And, who knows, I just might come by the Burrow to surprise you one day."

"You'd better."

Dobby approached me slowly. "Carriage is waiting for Miss to ride," he told me.

I nodded. "You take care of yourself, Dobby."

"Dobby is sad to see Miss go."

"I might come back, you know. It's not like you won't be seeing me forever." I tried to keep my voice as cheerful as I can.

"Miss Granger." Professor Dumbledore had materialized beside Ron and Dobby. "I hope to hear good things from Milos."

"Yes, Professor," I said. "Thank you for doing this for me."

"It has been a pleasure to teach you, Miss Granger." He held out his hand and I took it in a warm handshake.

I stepped back and surveyed my small farewell party. Ron, Ginny, Dobby and Professor Dumbledore. Harry was absent, at my request. And yet, I couldn't help but long to see him one last time. Never mind, I thought, as I gave a final wave and made my way down the front steps of the castle. Diana's more than enough compensation. I entered the carriage and as it began to move, I felt tears drop from the corner of my eyes. I was leaving Hogwarts and the life that I had come to know in the last seven years. And I know that I will miss it.

But this is what I had to do. Maybe someday Harry and I will meet again and we could pick up right where we left off.

And I realized that where we had left off, I was crying and he was in love with someone else.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

"Ron!" Harry yelled, almost sliding down the banister of the foyer. "Ron!"

"What?" Ron asked.

"Have you seen Hermione? I've been looking for her since last night but I couldn't find her. She wasn't in her room or the Common Room and she wasn't at breakfast this morning." He noticed that Ron's ears turned red, the way it always did when he was under pressure – or hiding something from him. "Ron?" he pressed. "Where's Hermione?"

"She left, Harry. You just missed her."

"What?" He couldn't believe his ears. He threw open the heavy wooden doors that led outside the Hogwarts grounds and he could see a tiny carriage moving fast, away from the castle. Harry quickly rounded on Ron. "Where is she going? Come on, Ron, tell me! I could follow her with the Firebolt………"

"She doesn't want to be followed, Harry."

"What's going on? Graduation isn't until tomorrow." He was silent for a while, then "Is she coming back?"

"Not for a long time," Ron replied and Harry felt himself falling to the ground.

She was gone. Hermione left without saying goodbye to him and he had lost his chance to talk to her about those confounded feelings that had been hounding his mind, body and soul since that night he saw her run away. He still wasn't sure if this was love, if he did love Hermione, but he was willing to risk the pain of losing her, of losing her friendship. Although he doubted if he could handle losing her friendship.

"Harry," Ron was saying. He handed him a piece of parchment. "She asked me to give you this." Ron gave him a sad smile. "Hang in there, Harry," he said before walking away.

Harry opened the letter with shaking hands. If there was any hope left, any chance that he might see her again, it would surely be in this letter.

__

Dear Harry,

By the time you read this, I will be far away. I apologize for not saying goodbye to you in person but I was afraid that if I faced you, I might not have the courage to tell you what needs to be said.

I love you, Harry. I've loved you from the first moment I met you on the train and I'd fixed your glasses. Of course, I didn't know it then, we were only children, but I came to realize it and now, I'm scared. Scared because I didn't want to lose your friendship. Scared because this feeling rocked me to the very core of my being and made my heart ache for you so badly that I cannot breathe. I tried not to love you, Harry – I really did. I agreed to help you and Diana because I thought that it would make these feelings go away. But I was wrong. Seeing the two of you together made me ache for you more and I was confronted with the truth that you could never love me in the same way. But I'm perfectly content knowing that you're happy with her, Harry. Really. Perhaps being your best friend is the closest I'll ever be to you

.

If you and Diana get married, you will still invite me, won't you? I don't even have to be part of your entourage. I'm happy to just sit there and watch the girl of your dreams marry the man in mine.

Will you think of me, Harry?

Yours, Hermione.

She loved him, Harry realized. Hermione Granger loved him and he had let her go. Harry looked at her last statement and remembered the conversation they had when they all thought that Hermione was dying. She had touched her hand to his cheek, caressing it softly and smiling in that light, blissful way she used to do. "Will you think of me, Harry?" she whispered sadly. And he had wiped away a tear that crossed her face.

Harry folded her letter and placed it inside his robes. He could still hear her voice, haunting him as he made his way up to the Head Girl's room. "Will you think of me, Harry?"

He mumbled the password and crept up to the room Hermione used to share with him and Ron during the earlier part of the year. He didn't know what he was hoping to find in there, Hermione hiding from him perhaps, but he just felt the need to look at it for one last time. It was empty, but Harry still walked in and surveyed what used to be Hermione's room. It was bare and cold, now, for it lacked the homey feel that had once adorned its walls. He closed his eyes and recalled the countless times the three of them had spent in that room, usually ending up in unprecedented sleepovers and early morning attempts for him and Ron to sneak back into the Gryffindor Common Room. It will never happen again, though, he thought. Never. Hermione has left, without giving him a chance to tell her how he feels, that he does love her but was just too scared to admit it. From the corner of his eye, Harry spotted a scarf peeking out from under the mattress. He pulled it out, recognized it as the scarf Mrs. Weasley had knitted for her two Christmases ago and inhaled Hermione's lingering scent on it – strawberries and roses – and his heart constricted in pain.

"Will you think of me, Harry?" her voice haunted his thoughts.

And as he stepped out of the room, clutching the scarf in his hand, he smiled a sad smile. Will you think of Hermione, Harry? he thought, leaving the portrait door.

As if I could do anything else.

THE END

A/N: Make sure to read the sequel, "As If We Never Said Goodbye". What happens when Hermione returns from Cambridge!


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